Leading By Example: A Slap of Truth in American Values
The ability to physically discipline our children has been praised as an effective form of teaching, with realistic and reputable results. And why wouldn’t it be? The rationale, “Because… I’m bigger than you, and if you don’t do what I say, I’m going to hurt you,” is very straightforward in its reasoning.
Recently, the use of corporal punishment on children has been scrutinized. Some say this methodology of instruction is a gross overreach of power, that it results from an inability to remain calm and in control of the situation, or that the action of physically hitting someone is somehow assault. Let’s put these alarmist claims to rest! We can lead by example. To demonstrate this tried-and-true method for correcting poor behavior in children, I propose the application of public corporal punishment in the form of Adult Spankings.
The generous distribution of Adult Spankings applied in public settings by officers of the law, offers a bold opportunity to prove the sincerity of that same method for children. As Denis Leary once said, “Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass–whether you carry a penis or a purse.” This crude but honest quote challenges us to hold ourselves to the same standards and expectations that we would place on our children. By acting in this way we become genuine persons of principle, to act otherwise would be hypocritical.
The right to spank our children as a form of correcting behavior is provided for and protected within the reasoning of our American legal system. It is acknowledged, legally, as an effective method for the guardian to emphasize their point. This reasoning can, and logically, should therefore also be extended to adults. If Americans want to keep sending the message that acts of violence are an effective approach to solving problems, this is how we do it. This is how we will stay strong, America. We will win wars, cut back on welfare spending, tighten our borders, and stop drug trafficking. The visual and physical message of a swift slap on the ass shows we are not afraid to put anyone in their place. There is a place for everyone, and everyone will stay in their place, or else.
The next time someone blows through a stop sign, double parks, or gets caught shoplifting, we could very well see them—this neighbor, teacher, doctor, or friend, —pulled to the side of the road, siren blaring, and lights flashing. We can stop and watch. It’s okay, “Folks, there is something to see here!” A smile spreads across our faces, and our eager eyes glow with anticipation, as we watch our friend or family member’s pants lowered. We continue to leer over, and the police officer bends the individual over his knee. As the officer begins to delve out the spanking, we hear him crying, “This hurts me more than it hurts you!” We are humbled by this display of humiliation. But this is how we teach!
This approach eliminates the hypocrisy within our judicial system. It shows that we as a country feel violence is the best answer to solving issues. Not only is spanking our children an acceptable response to misbehavior, but every American citizen should also be given the right to learn from their mistakes by being spanked.
Americans love peace and happiness; that is why we have it written into our Bill of Rights. And we have learned that the best way to acquire peace is by force. The positive results of force have been well established in the United States since its foundation. We will never forget the Alamo!
The homeless, unemployed, alcoholics, and addicts we see today in America are the result of a lack of discipline. They didn’t get enough spankings as children. Well, I am tired of being bombarded for change by the homeless. I’m tired of having to look at the ugly faces of the addicts on the corner. If these people got spankings, then maybe they would stop begging for other people’s hard-earned money.
As a society, we can still create learning moments through compassionate dialogues and more patient practices. The court system will continue to exist. But spanking is an American right. It is the best way to quickly, effectively, and lovingly correct poor behavior. And if you break the law wouldn’t you opt for the literal slap on the wrist rather than have to pay a fine or do community service? Some may argue that it is cruel to publicly spank adults, but to them I say, it is no more unusual than supporting wars.
The American justice system uses violence to punish criminals. Some people reject the use of electrocution and lethal injection to punish rapists and murderers on the basis that it is a grotesque and outdated method of correcting behavior. But using violence to solve problems is the American way. From TV shows and movies, our children’s heroes save the day through violence. Our best adult-rated video games offer combative tactics and simulated mortal targets. Our favorite music lyrics talk about self-harm, violent acts, weapons, death, and war. The insanely popular TV series The Handmaid’s Tale is all about the oppression of women. This television series has won numerous awards including two Golden Globes, six Emmys, and the Peabody Award for entertainment, showing the overwhelming and unquestionable support for the public display of pain and violence.
By allowing our entrusted caretakers to physically hold us down, and oppress us into submissive, well-behaved adults, we can show our society how to live a life imbued with a sense of fairness, equality, and security. I know I will sleep better with the knowledge that my neighbor is going to adhere to the strict HOA bylaws, bring their trash cans in promptly, and remember to use parking passes for their visitors, or the next HOA meeting is certainly going to be a spectacular spanking spectacle for all to see.
The unnecessary time and funding spent on the incarceration of adults for small non-violent crimes take excessive amounts of taxpayer dollars away from people. This practice only succeeds in helping private prison corporations increase their yearly revenue. Many of the prisons within the United States of America are privatized today, meaning that they are corporate entities owned and controlled outside of the American Judicial System. It is a growing industry, allowing individuals to immorally profit off of the misfortune of the average defunct American citizen.
When we isolate and erase the sight of misbehaving adults in our society, we are losing the chance to create visual rhetoric that heavily discourages poor public behavior. In principle, the idea of public spanking for adults, as it is for children, should be socially acceptable in contrast to the current methods of isolation used on incarcerated prisoners. The detrimental effects of loneliness, lack of human touch, and extreme isolation on the human psyche have been recorded (Leonard), whereas the number of positive encounters with the act of adult on adult spankings is remarkably high in comparison. An article published in April of 2017 on Menshealth.com by Alisa Hrustic, the Deputy Editor of Prevention, entitled “The Rough Sex Move Women Love the Most” claimed that, “After polling more than 4,500 people about their favorite kinks, they found that 70% of women and 61% of men are turned on by spanking during sex.” This statistic tells us that as humiliating as spanking may appear, this treatment is actually pleasurable for adults.
Re-instituting policies of public humiliation through corporal punishment will encourage the public’s acknowledgment of immediate physical consequences, i.e., Adult Spankings. The public correction of inappropriate behaviors is an avenue for our citizens to bring more awareness to community problems. For instance, we can publish Adult Spankings in local news articles for a more informed community. Public, adult spankings bear the opportunity to be more actively involved in community events. I know I would enjoy a cheery Saturday afternoon spent in the town center with my fellow good samaritans watching, for example, traffic jockeys get a good spanking for their inferior driving skills during the five o’clock rush hour. Wouldn’t you feel justified and enjoy watching the wrongdoers physically pay for their mistakes? Me too, but instead we pay high taxes so these odious criminals can sit in private cells with cable television.
Minor petty crimes are clogging up our judicial system on a daily basis. These small claims and minor criminal infractions tie up a lot of our funds and time for very little benefit. Few perpetrators can say that they learned a lesson when paying a littering fine or spending a day at a comedy traffic school for blowing a stop sign. But these small acts of microaggressions towards our society should be a matter of public domain as they directly involve an individual acting in contrast to our societal expectations for decency and decorum. As a Republic of People, we can and should hold each other responsible for the poor display of behaviors by offering the option of corporal punishment to adults in the form of a public display of swatting the guilty adult on their posterior. This approach bypasses the necessity for legal representation, a ticket or demerit on a driving record, and any jail time. With a reduction in the number of incarcerated adults for petty crimes and relief from the high cost of tickets for traffic violations, we can help reduce the national debt, support the shrinking middle class, and divert funds from the judicial branch to more urgent national concerns. Publicly administered Adult Spankings encourage adults to choose the punishment they feel fits most relevantly into their current circumstances.
As adults of principle, the only fair thing we can do is to stop being hypocritical. If we admit to the violent actions of America on the world stage, it would entitle us all to a good, hard spanking. This display of our allegiance, bravery, and integrity requires us to uphold the longstanding American value of dominance through physical suppression. Our society needs a compassionate approach that cultivates empathy between generations. If we are not willing to subject ourselves to the same cruel punishments displayed to our youth, we should not continue to justify these grossly violent methods. All good Americans should get spanked.
Works Cited
Hrustic, Alisa. “The Rough Sex Move Women Love the Most.” Mens Health, 20 Dec. 2022,
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19546233/spanking-during-sex/ Leary, Denis.
Leonard, Jayne. “What Are the Effects of Solitary Confinement on Health?” Medical News
Today, 20 Dec. 2022, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/solitary-confinement-effects
“Why We Suck Quotes.” Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and
Stupid, 20 Dec. 2022. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3013896-why-we-suck-a-feel-good-guide-to-sta ying-fat-loud-lazy-and-stupid