Precious Gem
Diamonique is the name my parents gifted me.
Not Dominique or Deeominque or Diamondeek or any other name I’ve been called in place of my own.
I am their diamond, their precious gem, even when I don’t feel deserving of such sentiment.
I’m no diamond; just a tender heart hardened by unresolved trauma passed down from one generation to the next.
Diamonds are forged from the incandescent core of the Earth and overwhelming pressure
I’m no diamond; just a precious gem with no shine; dimmed down from decades of indoctrinated self-hate; always the best friend, never the protagonist; the disposable love interest before they find “the one”; the magical negro in service to the “chosen one”; a background character dissolved into the backdrop
Diamonds are the hardest mineral on Earth
I’m no diamond; I don’t shatter; a “strong black woman” condemned to uphold a problematic narrative, but I wear it like a badge of honor; practicing mindfulness while navigating a minefield on the daily
Diamond comes from the Greek word “Adamas” meaning “invincible” or “unconquerable”
I’m no diamond; heads turn my way with a predatory glint; wolf eyes locked on the lone black sheep; easy prey for “nice” guys one rejection from committing a felony.
Diamonds come in a variety of colors and sizes: the most common are yellow & brown; the rarest are blue, red, green, and orange
I’m no diamond; too often my presence or lack thereof goes unnoticed; a precious gem kept concealed from unsavory eyes secured in a tiny box; too many nights spent in self-imposed isolation, safely tucked between the four walls of my bedroom.
Diamonds are the only gems contrived of a single element (Carbon)
I am a diamond; forged under immense pressure, crystalized with time and experience, smothered by self-esteem deficiency, unrealistic goals, and expectations, chasing dreams just to survive this dreadful fucking existence
Diamonds can only be damaged by another diamond
I am a diamond; healing from self-inflicted damage; forgiving myself for mistakes long past; no longer allowing others to appraise and determine my worth; life can keep kicking the shit out of me, but I am a diamond and I refuse to break.
Author’s Statement: A poetic contemplation of my name, its meaning, and what it means to me. Dedicated to my mom, Cecelia the incredible woman who gifted me my name