Advice To My Younger Self
“The Middle Child”
Dear Little Diane,
If ever there’s a time when you think I’m not looking, I’m there over your shoulder. When you feel as if no one cares, I care. When you feel invisible and no one can hear your voice, I see you and I hear you. I’ve been here all along; I am you. I am your past and your future. Always remember that we are descendants of those who have walked the earth before, and messengers to those who come after us.
Today, you are so very young and at the threshold of your life. I am here to show you some things you’ll understand later. I’m the “older you” that wishes I could’ve done a few things differently. Consider it a gift of wisdom to a sweet little girl who was born just this morning, the second daughter to Bill and Sharon. This is quite an unusual present that I give you, but one that you’ll appreciate as you go through the trials and tribulations of life.
Growing up as a middle child (spoiler alert: you will become one next year) is challenging, and some days you’ll feel squeezed in the middle. Not bigger with more privileges like an older sister, and not a coddled baby like a younger one. You’ll be relied upon to be more mellow than the others; you’ll learn the important skill of patience and knowing how to wait your turn. This will follow you all your life, and you will always be appreciated for this trait.
I happen to know that you’ll be labeled as an “introvert” while you’re growing up, and you won’t like that word very much. An introvert watches and observes the things around us. We pay attention. We notice details. Instead of being overly concerned with external things, we reflect and enjoy our solitude. We are frequently the writers and the artists, and that’s a good thing.
Be confident with the person you are. Love yourself “as you are.” In a world of cookie-cutter people where everyone feels compelled to be and look alike, don’t be afraid to be your own self. Embrace your uniqueness, and never feel embarrassed about that. The relationships you make in life will be more authentic that way. Never under-estimate what you have to offer. Don’t feel tempted to always follow the crowd or let them become a yardstick for the things you want to achieve in your life.
Methinks you will have an issue with “people-pleasing,” sorry to say. Yes, it’s the path of least resistance, but don’t ever be afraid to voice your opinion. There’s something innately satisfying about speaking one’s mind and being okay with that. Remaining silent can be construed as tacit agreement—even when you don’t agree. Always be true to yourself. Nothing is worth trading your integrity for.
I don’t have to remind you, dear one, to be kind. It’s in our DNA to be that way. Our parents, our grandparents, and our great-grandparents have always shown a willingness to help others and a desire to do good—not only in their professions, but also in their relationships. They gave of themselves to others, and you will too. Never forget their willingness to give, to understand, and to be kind with people from all walks of life. Even to those with whom you disagree. Before we get off the subject, I need to remind you to also be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself when you’re less than perfect. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend.
Lastly, never forget your roots. As your life flourishes and grows, always pay homage to those who came before you. Before your birth this morning, your ancestors numbered about two thousand people in only two hundred years. You carry a piece of every one of those ancestors in your bones. Honor their lives; cherish their stories; write down your memoirs. Do this for the children of tomorrow. We are truly a colorful tapestry of lives, carefully stitched together with golden threads of love.
Now, go out there and live. Grow and be happy. Live with purpose. Find your passion. Have the courage to be different. Be authentic. May this, the first day of your life, mark the beginning of a wonderful lifetime. There isn’t—nor will there ever be—anyone in the world quite like you. Have a good life, my dear Diane.
All the best,
A Much Older Diane