Lost at Sea
Abby and Seth locked eyes at a bar. One look, that’s all it took, six months later they were married and a year later they were stationed in Okinawa.
Abby cuffs her nose with her right hand to stop the blood from dripping down her chin. She looks up at her reflection in the mirror, which is hanging next to the dresser, in the master bedroom. Her sleep-deprived eyes are sunken deeply into her ghostly white skin. Her frail frame carries a beautiful baby girl on her left hip beneath stringy black hair.
She feels the world suddenly move at hyper-speed and slow motion all at the same time. Why won’t he fucking leave the room?
Seth lunges at Abby, wrapping his tentacle-like fingers across her mouth.
A paper-thin wall separates them from the neighbors in the apartment over, and there is no way his reputation will be questioned for this quarrel.
Hope cries, wailing as her mother breaks free of Seth’s grasp and stumbles around to find balance while still holding her.
“Shut that fucking baby up, Abby!” Seth shouts.
“Get the fuck out of the room, then!”Abby shouts back.
“Wipe your face! I don’t want my daughter to see you like that!” Seth screams.
“Get the fuck out first!” Abby screams back.
Seth barricades the only exit with his large muscular body. His skin matches the coffee-colored door that he is pressing up against.
Mallory shouts from the other side of that door, “What’s going on? What’s happening?”
“I will call the police. Get the fuck out of the room, Seth!” Abby yells, her voice cracking in desperation.
With that threat, he leaves, ensuring he closes and locks the door behind him.
Upon returning home after this incident, Seth plops his body next to Abby’s, his breath permeating liquor. With his head in her hands, she feels his tears escaping between her fingers.
“It won’t happen again,” he says, sobbing. Her heart is as empty as that promise.
Japan is filled with rolling green hills surrounded by countless beaches. The kind of water that looks photoshopped. A blue so vibrant, it begs you to stay.
The weekend comes, and the family packs into their minivan for an outing.
“I know my daddy hit you,” Mallory blurts out while sitting in the passenger seat.
Abby stays silent. She does not have enough time to respond as Seth walks around the van, making his way to the driver’s seat.
“Let’s go to the American village. We’ll get those tacos you love!” says Seth.
Abby grins in agreement from the back of the van. Seth peeks at the rear-view mirror to see her reading a book to Hope in the back seat. Hope is not an easy baby. She is strong-willed but resilient. The position of the backward car seat bores her quickly, and Abby is always there to make sure she is entertained.
The family walks into the Mexican restaurant. Abby sees her friend Britney eating tacos.
“Hey!” Britney yells at Abby.
Abby stares down at her feet.
Britney yells again, “Hey, Abby, what’s up!” She continues, “Are you kidding me? You are ignoring me?”
Seth glares at Britney.
The family orders their tacos togo and leaves to eat at home.
Later that night, while her family sleeps, Abby tiptoes around the apartment. She gathers her passport and birth certificate. She places it in a small bag that holds a wad of cash and hides it in a storage cubby in the laundry room.
Abby sits on the concrete floor in a corner next to the cold washer. She texts her mother, “blue beach.”
Her mother replies with one solitary word, “good.”
She then deletes the messages.
What if I am making the wrong choice? What if he can really change? He can be sweet sometimes. I’ll just stay until Father’s Day.
Father’s Day arrives.
“My buddy was telling me about an amazing, secluded beach. Do you want to go?” Seth proposes.
“Where?” Abby asks.
“Nago. It’s two hours north of here.”
“When?”
“Now. I texted Britney, and she’ll take care of the girls.”
“Britney Savior? I thought you–”
“She’s a cheap babysitter. Fuck it.”
They begin to walk out of their apartment. Abby’s hands are full, she is carrying towels and a beach bag.
“Hey, can you grab my tanning oil?” she asks.
“Sure, where is it?”
“It’s in the laundry room, thanks.”
She waits for what seems like an eternity for his return.
Why is he taking so long? Was it a horrible idea to have him look in the laundry room? Shhh, you’re just paranoid.
Seth walks out of the apartment, gear in tow.
“What took you so long?” Abby asks.
“I had to use the restroom,” Seth says, annoyed.
The surf is roaring, waves smacking against the beachrock with every hit.
“Hey! Sergeant Miller,” a young man yells.
“Hey! What’s up, Chicken!” Seth yells back.
At that instant, Abby turns back to return to the van; she has forgotten something important. She hands Seth the beach bag and towels to set up on the beach. Seth continues walking, making his way towards Chicken.
“Stoked to see you could make it, sir,” Chicken says.
“Yeah, did you come with anyone?” Seth questions.
“No sir, this is my secret spot.”
“You haven’t taken anyone else here before?”
“No, sir. I thought I would share this spot with you, sir. Seeing ho–”
“Well, shit, an expert brown noser I got myself!” Seth says, interrupting Chicken.
“I just–”
“I am fucking with you,man!” Seth interrupts again and smacks one of his large hands on one of Chicken’s small shoulders.
They lock eyes and both laugh with one another.
“Anyway, no kids today”, sir?”
“We left the girls at the Saviors. You know ‘em?”
“Hmm, husband’s a British motherfucker, works in Motor T, right, sir?”
“Yeah, fucking weirdos, but his wife babysits and shit. They don’t have any kids of their own, so she’s obsessed with ours.”
“Ay, that’s cool. Do you want some plum juice, sir?” Chicken says with a wink.
“Why the f—oh, yeah, plum juice would be great,” Seth says with a grin.
Seth chugs the bottle. Chicken leaves to give the couple some privacy. Abby returns and slips an item into their beach bag.
“Let’s go for a swim, babe,” Seth proposes.
“What if someone takes our phones while we are away?”
“Who? Look around! There is not a soul in sight and it’s Japan babe, no one does that kind of shit here.”
She slowly places her cell phone in their beach bag.
Fuck
“It’s a beautiful day, huh?” Seth asks while stretching out his vascular arms.
“Yeah,” Abby says ever so faintly.
“Let’s get in the water!”
“I’d rather just lie on the beach and get good use out of my tanning lotion.”
“It’s Father’s Day, I already have a built-in tan, and you have to! It is my day!”
“Fine, let’s go,” Abby says with a sigh.
They swim out with great force to overtake the volatile waves, using every part of their bodies to push forward. Abby can feel the pulse of her heartbeat vibrate through her eardrums. Between their gasps for air, they exchange glances at each other, the movement is similar to a ping pong match. He looks up, she looks down. She looks up, he looks down.
“We’re too far out, Seth. I am getting tired,” Abby says while panting.
“Maybe you should be hittin’ the gym more like I tell you to. It’s fucking Father’s Day Abby, can we do want I want for once?! God damn!”
“Okay, just a little more. I need to text Britney and my mom; you know how difficult Hope can be sometimes,” says Abby.
“The kids are fine. You literally talk to your mom every damn day. I see a little tiny island over there. You see it? We could check it out, see if it’s got crabs or starfish,” says Seth.
“Sure,” Abby says, as tears begin to form in her eyes.
Just a little bit more, Abby, then you can rest. It’s Father’s Day. It’s Father’s Day.
As they swim, heads above water, Seth begins to shout.
“So, what are you always talking to your mom about?”
“Just random stuff, I don’t know, why? “Abby yells back.
“Just kind of weird,” Seth responds.
“What? I can’t hear you! The wav–”
The water pulls her down and fills her mouth, preventing her from finishing.
“It’s kind of weird!” Seth shouts again. “You tell her how much you love me, right?” Seth yells, then chuckles. “You wouldn’t leave me, right? I mean, I gave you everything. A child, money, you don’t even have to work. The military pays for our housing. You have it made. I drink a little here and there, but what Marine doesn’t? Our branch started in a bar, you know?”
He knows.
One look, that’s all it took. The water wanted her just as he did, but the waves didn’t have to beg for her to stay.
Seth arrives at the shore. While taking out Abby’s belongings from the beach bag, a Father’s Day card falls out onto the sand.
It reads, “Our love for you is deeper than the ocean – Happy Father’s Day! Love Abby, Mallory, and Hope.”
Tears begin to form in his eyes. His breath is permeating wine. With his head in his hands, he feels tears escaping between his fingers. He feels the world suddenly move at hyper-speed and slow motion all at the same time. Seth can feel the pulse of his heartbeat vibrate through his eardrums. The dinging noise of a text message pulls him out of his trance. He brushes off the sand from his hands and grabs Abby’s cell phone from the beach bag.
“Blue beach?” The text reads from Abby’s mother.
“Yeah, beaches are blue?” he texts back.
His hands are now violently shaking as he grabs his phone to text Chicken.
“Hey Chicken, if anyone asks, you didn’t see me today.”
“Ha, okay sure, no worries. I got you brother, sir.” Chicken replies.
“I am dead serious, not one solitary word.”
“On my mother’s grave, I wouldn’t, sir.”
“Good.”